More Than a Friend

Q: Two years ago, I found myself falling for a friend but I kept my feelings to myself and decided that we are better off as friends since she had a boyfriend at that time. When they broke up a year ago, I became her shoulder to cry on and we became activity partners since then. We always have enjoyed each other’s company and even some of the people around us would say that we look good together. Hanging out with her for months made my feelings for her became stronger. Now I am contemplating on telling her how I truly feel but I am afraid of rejection especially with the thought that things between us might change after I tell her.

A: Falling in love with a friend often happens to the best of us. Not surprising though since the line between being a “friend” and “more than a friend” is can be narrow at times. It seems that this is what you are experiencing.

     You mentioned that you harbored feelings for her since two years ago but opted to keep your heart out of sight. I applaud you for respecting her previous relationship and for being a good friend who she can turn to during her devastating break up. If she does enjoy your company then that is really a good sign that she likes you. Liking somebody though could be viewed in two ways. One, she likes being with you and see you as a good friend. That means it might be purely platonic on her part. Second, there is a possibility she might like you in a romantic sense. The only way to find out is hear it from her.

     I would understand the hesitation you feel in telling her. That’s all natural. Of course, there is a possibility that she doesn’t feel the same way you do and it would be quite awkward for some time after you make your confession. Some difficulties in getting the friendship back might be encountered. You have to understand that once you crossed the line, things will never be the same. She might become evasive or you might end up being a couple. If things don’t end up the way you want, just give her some time to take things in and if she possesses the maturity to face you then you may be friends again.

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